Pizza Bruno

Proof that pizza can taste like sex feels

Thanks be to the 'Za Lord that good pizza is never further than a $3 delivery fee away. Whether you've sworn fealty to Domino's, Pizza Hut, or Papa John's (Hungry Howie's forever!) modern society has graced us with the supply to our unrelenting demand for these damn sauce saucers. While I vow hear and now that I will NEVER let these beautiful shitshows of bread and cheese go, it is beyond lovely to have a pizza that takes you someplace more pleasant than an instant carb coma.

Not that this is altogether unpleasant.

For those among us who go in from time to time for the kind of pizza that remains biodegradable, the intersection of Curry Ford and Conway has provided us with the place to get our high-class pizza fix. Pizza Bruno offers Neapolitan style pizzas of exceptional quality and flavor with both a starter and beer selection to match. Their hours begin at 5:00 pm from Monday through Friday so just skip lunch and get extra fat at dinner. They do however open at 11:00 am on Saturdays and Sundays for the brunch-loving weirdos like me.

Pizza Bruno's interior is calming and rustic--the large windows and wooden tables permeated with the warm, yeasty aroma of baked dough. The small counter bar leading to the lively kitchen dolling out a solid beer selection and additional seating. For starters, I recommend going with the Garlic Knots and either the Charcuterie and cheese (Prosciutto and other fun stuff) or Octopus. I know okay, garlic knots are for basic bitches but please trust me--these fists of bread are secret weapons from a garlic-driven future and the marinara that comes with them absolutely must be slathered on your pizza crust as well. And don't you dare knock my octopus! That honorary vertebrate has the taste of a damn good scallop that doesn't disintegrate on the tongue for a change.

Moving to Pizza Bruno's namesake, if it's your first trip I recommend ordering a simpler pizza like their Kbar or their Clam Pie. The former is at a glance of the menu a standard sausage and mushroom pizza but, as is the case with all Italian food, the quality of both the ingredients and the preparation are what drives perfectly sane people mad with desire. The latter is a white pizza loaded with succulent, fresh clams that have no right to work as well as they do as a topping. I point to these two pizzas specifically not only because they are serviceable starting points but because the absence of too many toppings allows an appreciation for the other players. The depths of flavor in and the interplay between the dough, sauce, and cheese merge into a pie that you can hardly believe is better than the sum of its parts.

Needless to say, Pizza Bruno has me by the balls. I will continue shoving garbage pizza in my face until it kills me with diabeetus but I'm pleased that I now have a pizza joint for when I feel like a real classy gal. Remember fellow gluttons: Garlic Knots (keep the sauce!), Charcuterie or Octopus, and keep the pie simple. Oh, and don't forget to ask about their pizza of the day! Now go forth and carboload--it's cheat day somewhere.